Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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