I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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