I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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