Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have post one night stand depression
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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