dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
