I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
