I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Randomize
