Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
