you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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