How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
