he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
