im about as happy as oj after his trial
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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