Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
