Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
