he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize