all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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