I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
