I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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