She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
