we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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