So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
