I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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