plz talk dirty to me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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