you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
