well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
