Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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