He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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