Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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