I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
