do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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