i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
