I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
