so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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