PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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