If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
