there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
