Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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