yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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