why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
