clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
