break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think your dad took our porno
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
