hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
