I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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