so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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