just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
