if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
