I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
