White coat. Heels.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
