do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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