Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
