i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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