If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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