how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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