Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's great music for shaving your balls
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
