ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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