Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
