i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My vagina is officially offended.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
