Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
