i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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