"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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