when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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