I'm really into asian looking animals
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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