So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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