If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize