Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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